ENFP Friendships: Who should ENFP be friends with?
ENFP Friendships: ENFPs are Social Chameleons
Seriously, a peer group is so important for us ENFP because we are like social chameleons. I mentioned this in another video, but I wanted to film a whole video on this because it’s so important. We adjust to the people we are around, and it’s part of our charm. It’s kind of a reason we get along with so many people.
I don’t know about you, but for me, as a child, if I met my parent’s friends, none of them ever said that I was a little asshole. It was usually that we were likable as kids because we understand people, we know what they want to hear, we kind of changed a little bit and generally that is good but it does mean that we adjust.
So if you take an ENFP, and you put them in a prison, they’re probably going to become criminals quicker than most other people would. Anyhow… Thinking about your peer group, think about who you’re spending the most time with. There’s an old personal development study or saying and they say that your income is the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Maybe that’s true, maybe it’s not, but it’s a good lesson. If you spend time with people that perhaps are not doing so well, they have a lot of drama, they’re always in some kind of fight or argument, they’re just generally not happy with their lives, that’s going to pull you down, it’s going to pull you down for a bunch of reasons.
ENFP Friendship Advice – You are who you hang out with
Number one is that It will become your normal. Number two is you’re going to hold back on sharing your successes. Think about it. If you have this big dream, and you want to start your own business or something you love, make six figures or travel the world and you share that with your friend who’s working at the convenience store and hates his life and is in a terrible relationship, he is going to tell you to go piss off, that’ll never happen.
More than likely though, as an ENFP, you’re going to know that and you’re not even going to tell them. You’re going to be embarrassed about that dream you have and just not do it.
You want to find people who are doing the things that you think are awesome. One of the cool things about these events I’ve been hosting this year is that people come to the event and they’re like, “I don’t know anyone else in my life who dreams like this.” and that’s everyone at the event, including our special guests. I never really thought about this as part of the benefits of going to the events until talking to people afterwards. I realized after that these people have the same visions and dreams as I do and I was not feeling like a complete weirdo.
If you want to do something really cool, if you want to push the boundaries, you’re going to need people around you. The same thing happens for example in fitness. If you’re spending time with people who are really unhealthy, both in terms of what they eat, and what they do with their bodies, and you want to be really healthy, it’s going to be hard because when you go out, they’re going to eat seven pizzas each… You’re going to be honest and be tough.
I have this friend in Prague, and he is like Mr. Muscles, super smart, cool guy as well, and he just really takes care of himself and he has never once commented on my nutrition, which is actually really healthy now, but for a while, it wasn’t. He never once commented on my nutrition or my fitness or anything like that. If I asked him advice, he would give it there’d be zero judgment. Yet, whenever I was out with him, I always felt like maybe I’ll order something a bit healthier today. I would adjust my behaviour because I kind of compared to him and I admired his discipline and the way he takes care of his health and that made me want to do more of that and be healthier and more disciplined. Maybe I was like that because of a fear of judgment. But that’s okay if you get some positive results out of it, right?
Think about your life goals, what it is you’re actually trying to accomplish and give that some time, If you haven’t already, but my hunch is you already have a sense of how you want to be in your relationships, in your physical and mental health, in your freedom etc. Perhaps you want to be travelling, seeing the world a little bit more and you want to start a business or take care of your money better? What is it you really want to be doing? Think about the people you’re spending time with. Are they people living the kind of life you want? Are they pulling you towards your goals? Or are they not?
So you might have to make some hard decisions but I promise you, making these decisions will allow you to reach your goals and will be one of the best things you ever do.