This ENFP Always Struggles
“If you rely on your feelings in the moment to decide what you do, you’re going to have a very turbulent life.”
The Struggle is Real for This Type of ENFP
Those ENFPs who really, really pride themselves on “How I’m feeling in the moment, doing what I want to do, not wanting to be bogged down by structure or planning” – I’ve got news for you.
This is going to be a bit of a tough love situation:
If this is you, if you take that approach, you’re always going to struggle with the same things that I’m guessing you’re struggling with right now.
I totally get the impulse to not be tied down by commitment and to live in the moment.
The reality is, unfortunately, the way the world works and the way actually our minds and bodies work is if you rely on what you feel like in the moment, you’re going to pay probably double for most things you do, you’re going to let people down, and you’re ultimately going to have a less fun, less creative and less enjoyable life.
Feelings go up and down.
Bounce all around the place.
If you rely on your feelings in the moment to decide what you do, you’re going to have a very turbulent life and I’m guessing let yourself down and let the world down in terms of what you could accomplish and what you could share with everyone else.
It’s Not About Your ENFP Intuition
I want to be clear here.
I’m not talking about intuition or your gut, listening to your bigger feelings about what you should do with life, about what’s right and wrong, about who is right and wrong or what direction to move in.
You’ve got to trust your gut, trust your intuition, especially as an ENFP – that is so important.
You’re going to be your own best compass when you are, let’s say, proactively thinking about that big picture, thinking about what you want to do, and what’s right and wrong.
But at the moment, I’m talking about the type of feelings that are more like moodiness, energy levels, ups and downs throughout the day.
If that’s what you rely on for yourself, that changes in ways that we often can’t control.
We can say it’s the fault of the cosmos.
We could say it’s our diet.
We could say it’s just cycles of the month or the year that affect us.
But ultimately, if you rely on how you feel in the moment to decide on what you want to do, you’re often going to give up on things a little too early, not follow through on things, change direction too fast, and hold yourself back from what you could truly be contributing to the world.
How Planning Ahead Can Lead To Having More Fun
Most really creative people have figured this out:
When you give yourself some structure and some planning to play within, you actually can be a lot more creative.
The same thing applies to having fun and enjoying life.
Let’s look at travel.
Yes, in theory, it’s really cool to be like: I just buy my ticket when I want to fly, I go where I want to go last minute.
I’ve always looked at that type of person and been like: “Oh, that would be so cool!”
But the reality is you pay way more for everything.
You struggle to see the people you want to see because you don’t let your friends know a week or a month in advance you’re going to be in town because – hey, I just felt like it today.
And so in many cases I’ve been able to have a lot more fun and have a lot more traveling, a lot more experiences by planning ahead, getting a good deal, securing some things – plus, when you do that, you also get the bonus of anticipation, which is half the fun, as we all know.
So if you do find yourself avoiding any commitments, really wanting to just go with the flow in the moment – always, maybe take some time and ask yourself:
Why is that?
What happened in the past?
What are you afraid of?
Or what are you hoping for that’s leading to that behaviour?
Just have an experiment, try doing things a little bit different for the next week.
Planning ahead, being proactive, committing to things – just try it out.
I could be totally wrong on this.
But just try it out and see how that impacts your life – good or bad and what are the differences?
In the comments below let me know:
Are you this kind of person? Do you know someone who is?
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If you liked this video, you may be interested:
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- 3 ENFP STRUGGLES (and hidden opportunities)
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